Link to Video
Feedback: Once again, people mentioned my use of emotional attention from the viewers. I still feel like this is a very important concept in my elevator pitch because that really attracts those who are empathetic and would actually want to help out by any means. What I did realize was that I do need to seek some form of negative feedback. I really wanted to improve but did not have much to work with in terms of exactly what to change. I would like to say though that my main purpose is not to make "sales" as it is a non-profit. The main focus are the immigrant children solely. I just want to make their lives better and if the only way to do that is to give the not so pretty truth, I must.
Change: What I changed this time was my appearance. I wanted to show how unappealing it is to see someone living like this especially if it isn't even at their own will. It is not fair to let children live as if they have been homeless instead of treating them to actually live more years in their lives.
Hey Nina. I like your idea of the living facilities. I also like the idea of how this is a nonprofit. Many entrepreneurs are too profit focused and allowing yourself to focus on the actual vision and goal might actually be better in regards to how effective you are. I also like the idea of how you changed your appearance, it made it a lot easier to understand.
ReplyDeleteHey Nina.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed listening to you speak about the idea that you have. I can see through your video that your personality and your are somewhat passionate about your company. I will say hat it was a little tough to stay focus due to the gum chewing, and I would love suggest a possible camera angle change. thank you so much. I truly enjoyed listening to your elevator pitch.
Hello Nina,
ReplyDeleteI liked how you said "death rate" repeatedly and strongly which bring audiences' attention. You look very confident and hands movements that you made in this speech made this speech better. One thing, I think your assignment will be better if you weren't chewing a gum while public speaking.
Great post and good luck with rest of the semester!
Kaito Yoshida
Hey Nina,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! The idea of looking decrepit and uncleaned was genius as it allows the audience to fully grasp the conditions of those in less fortunate situations. Further the use of heavily charged language allows audience to sense the emotional impact that the situation can create in others. However, the gum chewing and the camera angle made the pitch difficult to understand and I was unable to focus.
Overall great post!